The Song of My People

Hello, friends!  Yes, it is another early morning, drinking coffee post, because well, coffee.  I usually wake up pretty early regardless of sleep time, so let’s spend some good ole quality time together.

I cannot remember a time I wasn’t a fangirl.  If you are familiar with what a fangirl is, here is a decent description from urban dictionary:

Female of approximately 12-17 years old, (though this can vary) who are obsessed by some sort of celebrity/group/band. 
contrary to popular belief, fangirls are not always to be confused with stalkers. Can just be happy, excited (albeit somewhat pathetic) about the celebrity/group/band they are crushing on. 

When I was younger, I loved cartoons of all kinds, and fantasy based movies.  I guess I first started my fangirl status with David Bowie from The Labrynth and it grew from there.  Part of me remembers being in love with Alvin, yes that chipmunk Alvin, when I was younger.  I think it was his swag.  I remember having the stuffed animal and sleeping with it every night, and coming up with things in my imagination.  

As I grew, so did my fandoms.  I added more to it, took some out (I am no longer in love with a chipmunk), but the core remains the same.  You fall in love with a story, a character, a relationship, a video game, and buy into it wholeheartedly.  It kind of just consumes you, and it will enable you to do many things, like watch many episodes of the same show, on repeat, or listen to a song, try to draw it all, buy all the merchandise, seek to find others with the same love.  You just become emotionally attached to whatever the item is.

I remember the first time I played Final Fantasy 10.  I won’t spoil it for anyone who hasn’t played that game and may pick it up when the HD release comes out, but to say I loved it would be an understatement.  I put over 120 hours into that game, just not wanting it to end, and when it did, the feels were uncontrollable.

I love Sailor Moon.  I could still have a marathon of Sailor Moon, and be just as excited as I was when I was 18.  My OTP never makes it canon, but you know somewhere in the recess of my soul, I hope for it.

I have replayed Dragon Age a ridiculous number of times.  I try to choose other romance options, but I just can’t.  Alistair is always my OTP (for the record, OTP = One true pairing).  

When I played Mass Effect games for the first time, I had to start with 2, because PS didn’t have Mass Effect 1 on it at the time.  I played that game and got to Horizon where I met Kaiden for the first time.  I knew that once I met Kaiden, that should be my love interest and I had to restart the game to do it properly.

There are many fandoms I belong to; it isn’t limited to just one.  I didn’t get into books, or anything else, because really this wasn’t supposed to even be about me.  I just do what all fangirls do and digress when they talk about their favorite things.

Girl1 is a hardcore fangirl.  She also obsesses over her fandoms, and usually drags me in.  It made me smile when I realized what I passed down to her was her obsession with fictional characters.

I learned the other day, that at 5, Girl2 is also a fangirl.  We have watched Doctor Who and Girl2 loves the 11th Doctor.  I didn’t realize how much, until it was announced that he was leaving.  K was talking to her about it (and she may have been 4 at that time), and she freaked out; seriously, huge meltdown.  It was almost like the stages of grief.  We got over that hill, and the other day, we were in the car and we were talking about the taped Doctor Who Christmas Special we hadn’t watched yet.

I got a little tense, knowing her objection to Doctor 11 leaving and so I started to explain it was his last episode.  I could hear her voice cracking in the back asking me what he was going to do.  Meaning if he was not going to be the Doctor, what else could he possible do.  I told her I wasn’t sure, but he just wasn’t going to be the Doctor anymore, and a new one would take his place.  Meltdowns again. She was crying, saying he couldn’t go, that he was her Doctor, and she didn’t want to see the show without him.  She was seriously sad, and I understood.  It’s hard to lose something that you love, even when it is a fictional character (ask any fan of the Song of Ice and Fire series).  M, who was also in the car, made the mistake of saying he was just a television Doctor.  She didn’t take that very well, yelling that he was NOT just a television doctor.  As sad as I was for her,  I understood.  They aren’t just television, books, video game characters.  You develop an emotional attachment.  I consoled her, saying he wasn’t just a television doctor, and one day she may still marry him and fly off in the TARDIS.  A fangirl was born.

So, while the above definition is mostly correct, you don’t need to be at least 12 or under 17 to be a fangirl.  It is just part of what you are, and it’s better to just embrace it.  

I watched the Christmas special by the way, and decided Girl2 can’t watch it.  I am sure it will break her heart, and that I don’t think she is quite ready for.




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4 responses to “The Song of My People

  1. I think everyone is a fanboy/girl about something. I remember the first time I read the original Dragonlance trilogy and Flint died. It was the first time a character in a book died that I actually cried. It was weird, because I felt like I’d known him for years and it hurt almost as much as when pets had died or close friends had moved away when I was a kid. Just absolutely devastating. I still get that feeling whenever I reread that set of books. It’s absolutely horrible and wonderful at the same time.

    And we just won’t talk about how I felt when Raistlin’s story came to an end. That’s still private.

  2. It was good of you to watch the episode first and to allow Girl 2 to hold on to the 11th Doctor. Such a difficult thing to introduce some concepts, things that will bring about an emotional episode/trauma being no less meaningful because the root of part of it is in something fictional. Some day she’ll be ready for that episode and that will be because her mother supported an unspoken need to not.

    • Oh, I knew you would understand this! Fiction can have such an impact, because how many times have we fell in love with fictional characters, and how much we care about their adventures. I consoled her when she learned of the loss, because it is real for her. I respected that she didn’t want to watch the episode, but it is taped and waiting for her if she changes her mind. She wanted to watch it NY Eve, but fell asleep before the end, and I was pretty happy about that. I knew my reaction to it wasn’t pretty, and I can only imagine hers. I took a few weeks off from 11 after 10, because it just hurt. She will watch it when she wants, and she will watch 12 if she wants. It is her choice.

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