Monthly Archives: May 2013

18 Levels of Tired

Hello, Hello, Hola!  Yes, friends, Vertigo is stuck in my head.  I heard it this morning on the way to work and it is still in my head.  I even listened to it again hoping that it would get out, but no.  It is here to stay.

I have nothing deep or philosophical today.  No rants about big companies being bullies, or craziness surrounding the D&D table.  Today I am just tired.  I don’t know if I ever told you, but I switched up my work schedule a while ago, so instead of working 5 8 hour days, I work 4 10 hour days.  I have Wednesdays off, which means Mondays magically get turned into like a Thursday!  However, I do get a bit wiped.  I am also doing a half day project and half day regular job, so most of the time I am driving around to different offices.  It’s good though, opportunities come in all sizes, and this is a great one to be involved with.

Today, I am just going to tell you a really embarrassing story, that if I were not so tired I most likely wouldn’t tell you.  

This morning was like any other morning.  I stayed up a bit later last night then I usually do, so I guess I was a little more tired.  I did all my normal morning things – make coffee, go outside and check the weather (no internets can beat just going outside), make Girl 2’s lunch (same thing pretty much daily – peanut butter and fluff, crusts cut, then cut in half to make rectangles, juice box, fruit snack, fruit roll up and one surprise item).  She came down, get the breakfast, get her dressed, make sure Boy and Girl 2 have made an appearance, then get myself ready.  I was super proud of myself today!  Everything ran better than I could have hoped for; Girl 2 did not fight about anything, Boy ate without getting food on his face or clothing, Girl 2 was downstairs earlier.  I got myself ready and even remembered it was garbage day AND recycle day.  Not only that, but I managed to go inside and get the rest of the recycling to put in the bin Who is better than this girl on this day?  I thought no one.

I got to work and after drinking my who knows what number of coffee, I decided to run to the bathroom before a meeting.  I realized at that moment, my underwear was on inside out.  Ok, this isn’t a huge deal, it happens.  So I go ahead and fix myself because I knew if I didn’t I would be thinking about my underwear for the entire meeting.  I left the bathroom feeling accomplished.  

You would think that would be the end of it.  I am an adult woman, with three children, who I manage to get out the door daily, fully dressed.  Next time I had to go to the bathroom, it dawned on me that now they were the right way, but they were backwards.  Really?  Tiredness, my friends.  It makes even normal things, like putting on underwear, the most difficult thing in the world.

I have a date this weekend to see The Great Gatsby with my girl K, maybe Sister, but I know for certain Sister will definitely be over for a Flight of the Conchords marathon on Sunday, even if she misses the movie.  Next weekend is adult D&D group, which I am very much looking forward to playing!  We moved Tricksy DM last weekend, so it will be a new environment we are playing in.  I still have the last session to fill you in on.  I was sort of toying with the idea of doing a blog especially for D&D so this one doesn’t get so convoluted with all the different things.  I don’t know about that yet, but we will see what happens.

Until next time, dear friends, just remember the tags go in the back.

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Stopping the Madness

I’m not really political.  I have a lot of political friends, and I absolutely respect their opinions.  I had a late breakfast with a wonderful friend about a month ago and we discussed this.  They are political, very political, and I was telling them how much I can admire that, but for me, I don’t feel that I can have a lot to offer to that table.  My opinion on the matter is that I can’t change the world, but what I can do is offer myself and my offspring to the world.  My hope is that I can be a productive member of society and through my random acts of kindness brighten up someone’s day.  I am shooting for a moment.  That moment when a stranger pulls up to a Dunkin Donuts window, or the McDonalds window and they are just handed their items and told to have a nice day.  To know some random person just gave them a meal, or their morning coffee, for no other reason then just to be nice.  I am not always nice, in fact, most people who know me will tell you I am not so nice all the time, but I am human.

As for my offspring, I try to teach them the same lessons.  I can’t change the world, but I can raise them to know the difference between right and wrong.  They will learn, as my daughter has this year, about what hatred can bring when left unchecked.  

This comes about because I am bothered.  I am bothered by the CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch, who stated that their clothes, their brand, isn’t meant for the not cool kids.  The overweight, the nerds, they aren’t meant to be in their stores.

You, Sir, are a bully.

I don’t understand how an adult, someone with a very high education, can make such a statement, pretty much stating that it’s okay to single people out for how they look, and that they should be rewarded by being able to wear their clothing.  Why someone so focused on their brand would make such a statement.  

You, Sir, have caused a backlash.

People are rising.  The people who you have singled out are buying your clothing and donating them to homeless people.  To be honest, I think they are too good and should not lower themselves to wear your clothing, and I understand the irony that someone is buying your clothing to donate, thus lining your pockets.  I commend them though for taking action and at least putting them on people I know you wouldn’t deem awesome enough to wear them.

Bullying is an issue.  It’s a serious issue that happens all too often.  I remember when my son was in elementary school telling him it would get better.  I remember holding him when he cried, telling him this is just a blip in his life.  As a mother, it is the hardest thing, to send your child to school everyday knowing his day will be miserable.  He liked different things than the other kids.  He liked dragons, and RPG video games.  He was branded not cool.  He watched as the friends he had one day turned against him, hoping to use him as a jumping board to join the elusive cool kids club.  He entered middle school, and I am happy to say that it did get better for him.  He found kids that he could relate too, however, I am scared that he has changed who he is.

I remember the day Girl 1 came home and collapsed in my arms, sobbing.  This strong girl, this girl with quirky interests, and seemed to carry so much confidence, was a ball of tears.  Walking home she would be taunted every day.  One day she was physically touched, a personal item of hers broken, and she was done.  It broke my heart, that I couldn’t do anything but call a school and rage.  They took it seriously, but what can they do once the children leave the property.  I told her the same thing, just a blip.  She goes every day, still quirky, still herself.  I am proud of her.

As for me, I have written about my struggles, my never ending battle with eating disorders.  It is always there, and I don’t think will ever go away.  I have come to terms with people seem to see you differently than you see yourself.  I have seen extreme examples of this over the last couple of weeks, and hell, if you ask my girl K she will tell you I am some Siren, waiting to bestow my beauty and songs on unsuspecting men.  I don’t see that though.  I see a scared girl who doesn’t know if she will ever be pretty enough.  I have spent years getting better, but oh she is there, always there, right behind the mirror waiting for the perfect moment to taunt me again.  I do what I can to tell her to stfu.

So, Abercrombie & Fitch CEO, you can say what you want.  I don’t want to wear your clothes, and I never did.  My children won’t wear your clothing because my children are too good for them.  I hope the others realize this as well.  Bullying on any level is just wrong.  People have differences, and honestly, it is those differences that make us wonderful and beautiful.  I will keep doing my random acts of kindness and hoping that helps to put a little of good back in this world.  I happen to think this world is beautiful and people never cease showing their beauty.  Shine on, crazy, wonderful, world.  Let’s show those who want to point out differences as flaws, as those who shouldn’t belong, that there is far more to offer the world than just what they perceive.  Come dance with me, come sing with me, and let’s go play in the rain together.  Let us all bring a bit of happiness to the places we inhabit.  

The world deserves us.   

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Oh Hai.

Hey guys!  I am still here, doing my thing, though I have been a horrible friend lately.  I haven’t been around too much, well, not around here.  Things have been pretty busy in my area of the Universe and it hasn’t left me with a whole lot of time.  I am sorry, and I do miss you all ever so much.  Let’s play a quick game of catch up and I will try to be better with posting on time.

Things have been okay in general.  Work is good, but very busy, D&D has been played, though I think it has just been one session of the adult group since I have posted about that last.  I should do another post for that because Grace lost her mind a little bit, and had a pretty close to death experience!  Oh, my tricksy DM.

I have had wonderful brain thoughts about topics, but they always occur when I am at work, and then by the time I have a chance to post them I am out of energy.  I will try to start leaving myself notes about topics so I can try to pull them out when I can update.

I had something written, but erased it, because it isn’t quite what I wanted to say.  I know that when things are ready to come out, they do, and now isn’t the time.  I will leave it at this, just letting you know I am here, and thinking about you.  I promise we shall have a proper catch up soon.

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