I want to scream. I had this whole post typed out, I hit a wrong button and I somehow manage to lose it all. I want to cry a little, but alas, I shall start again. Egads! Come on in, I won’t scream in your face and I promise to try and fill you in (again) on my happenings this week. For me, it is the weekend, so let us rejoice for Fridays off!
I started with me, because well, I like me. At least sometimes. I am going to speed this up because well, I actually have more important things to talk about. I had two first interviews today which resulted in two second interviews next week. One is a jump up in the same segment I currently work in, the other is a lateral move to a different division. There are lots of thinks going on in my think tank right now because I like to be a girl with a plan. I don’t like to make rash quick decisions, and I want to make sure I make the right one. Right now, I am leaning more towards the one that is up a bit more in my current division because I can always move laterally later. Laterally later. I really like that phrase. Wish me lots of luck in my upcoming week, friend!
Yes, that me with a scarf tied around my head. I don’t know why, I just felt like doing it. Most importantly is I am sitting in my chair.
Okay, ready for the next piece? This was the twist for the week (I always have a twist of the week). Tuesday morning I got a text from Girl1. It started with her telling me she was in the best mood ever. It made me nervous because whenever Girl1 tells me she is in the best mood ever she usually means the worst mood ever. I asked her why and cringed inside waiting for all the rage to come pouring in. Instead I got this:
Girl1: The person I like likes me back!
Me: Who? I have kinda been hoping she would like one her friends that I am fond of.
Girl1: Insert girl name.
Me: What? Are you being serious? And you are telling me over text? Now keep in mind, Girl1 likes to mess with me.
Girl1: You never asked if I liked girls. To be fair, I have never asked anyone which gender they prefer.
Now, I needed some time to process. I can’t say that I wasn’t a tiny bit sad. Not because I don’t believe in LGBT rights. Anyone who knows me knows that is not the case at all. I don’t believe that anyone has any right to deny people rights because of who they love, or what gender they are attracted to. I can’t say I didn’t have my own preconceived notions of what my children’s lives will be like, and I didn’t quite have that in the picture, but that didn’t make sad. I was sad because I knew my child would have a slightly harder life because of who she decides to love. That some people would say that she is wrong, or that she could be “cured” like she has some sort of disease. That she could be denied the same rights in many parts of my country that I have because I am heterosexual.
We talked that night. I got home from work, and we talked. I asked her, wanting to know if this was just a curiosity thing for her. That was actually my favorite part of the whole thing.
Me: “So, is this just a curiosity thing for you?”
Girl1: “Since 6th grade? No.” Insert eye roll
I did notice that she never seemed to be as boy crazy as I was at that age, but I thought that it was maybe because she just wasn’t there yet. I don’t think my choice of Peter as her dating partner is going to work out. That night, I watched my daughter who normally seemed so awkward when dating things come up, blossom. She is so confidant, she looks so happy. I believe she is happy. I am so proud of her, so proud she is comfortable enough with herself to not be afraid and to not hide who she is. I wish I could have been there for her as she was figuring out who she is, but some things you need to do on your own. She did a good job. My baby girl is still my baby girl. She is no different than she was last week. She is amazing and strong, and I will stand by her every step of the way. I am so thankful that the relationship I have with her is one that she didn’t feel she couldn’t come to me, or that she had to hide. I love her so damn much, and I know she knows this. Stand tall, Girl1, and be proud. Never feel that your feelings are wrong, or that you are less than anyone else because of who you love, or what you are attracted to. I am going to buy the hell out of some rainbow gear.
I did get her permission to write about this. She doesn’t care who knows and I am nothing but proud. She plans on dropping it to the rest of the extended family over Thanksgiving and it is going to be so. much. fun.