I Am Such a Slacker

Yeah, it’s been a little while.  Grandiose ideas that I will update on Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays go the way of the Oxford comma for most people.  The blog gets dusty, the dishes pile up, and I find myself in a corner somewhere trying to dig myself out.  I dug out, friends.  I dug out at least enough to post an update.  Lots of things have happened and gone on in my time off.  Grab some coffee (or tea, or maybe cocoa).  Have a seat at the table,but be prepared to play some cards.  There has been a lot of card playing lately.

I’ll start with D&D news.  We have some new players with us and let me tell you, it has been wonderful!  They both meld in really well, and are both very patient with Girl1 and Boy.  I am sure my lovely DM has enjoyed maybe getting a break from our countless questions and we can now direct them at our experienced adventuring partners.  We have started a new campaign and albeit we may not get a lot of fighting done in our playtime, it sure is a lot of fun!

FFAC came to visit us for three weeks!  It was meant to be a few days shorter but Sandy decided to change his travel plans.  It was so much fun having him here and I wish he didn’t have to leave.  We did lots of things like D&D (he stayed with us for a day but then decided apparently to sneak off in the middle of the night), took the kids out to eat, went to an arcade (where I busted my knee during laser tag – oh battle wounds!), went to the Ren faire.  It was a very productive trip and I missed him the minute he left.  I debated tying him up in the basement to stop him from going home but I found out that it’s illegal.  Thank goodness I looked that up first.

I guess the biggest thing is within my own self.  I am trying to dig myself out of a hole that I have been in for a long time.  A very long time.  It’s hard.  It’s hard to recognize the hole and then sometimes it’s harder to see a way out.  We all want to do the right thing, and we can even convince ourselves that we have to keep ourselves down in order to do the right thing for everyone else.  It’s hard to ask for help, to admit that you can’t do it alone, or that you just aren’t strong enough.  I’ve told myself to look for the beauty in things every day but lately I have been having a hard time finding it.  We all go through it, those periods that just seem grey.  Here is what I have learned:

  • Asking for help is beautiful.  It’s saying I am not a superhero.  It’s saying I will let you in and you will see my vulnerable side because I love you enough to let you see it.
  • We all have it in us not only to ask for help, but to give help.  It’s what we are meant to do.  Yes, even you, when you think you have nothing else to give will find some reserve if needed.
  • Life is hard.  Life is not always fair.  If it was, we would never understand gifts we receive and just how much we should appreciate them.
  • When everything else fails, have a cup of coffee.
  • I’m really not alone, even when I think I am.

Things aren’t going to be easy and in fact I am sure they will get harder.  That’s ok.  I have learned from a wonderful blog (Momastery – I wish I knew how to link it) that we can do hard things.  We do remarkably hard things all the time and we keep going.  No matter how long we try to ignore our issues, they will come up and slap us in the face until we are forced to flee or fight.  Protip – fleeing doesn’t work.  I’m a fighter.  I believe you are a fighter, too.  We’ll go through this together, step by step, side by side.  I think at the end it will be absolutely beautiful.  So gear up, and finish your coffee.  We have a long road ahead together, friend, and we have to start it sometime.  

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “I Am Such a Slacker

  1. Beautifully said and a very timely reminder. You’re amazing. Keep fighting. Keep asking. Keep giving. And always take time to enjoy that cuppa. Love you, hun.

  2. Arg!! Fight till there ain’t no more fighting to be done!!

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