Whew, what a couple of days it has been! Monday was Labor Day, and Girl 1, Boy, and I spent the day at our lovely DM’s house for some D&D adventuring (which I am sure will be a future post). We got home, and started the once a year routine of the last night before the first day of school. Bookbags were flying, clothes laid out, showers taken, hair straightened; it really is the best night to be a parent of the older kids because it is the only day they are super excited to go to school.
Some people mark their years by the actual turning of the year. I, as a parent, have realized that I mark the year by school starting and ending. After all the kids are in bed that night I usually spend some time congratulating myself that I have made it through yet another year with all of my hair. Girl 1 was up at 5 AM on the first day and true to form today she went back to sleep as soon as I woke her up this morning and made it with 15 minutes to get ready.
Girl 1 and Boy ready to take over the world. Well, they made it out of bed on time any ways.
This year was a little different though because not only did Girl 1 and Boy get on their way, but Girl 2 started today as well. This is especially hard for me because I know that I am not having any more, so every first for her is a last for me. Girl 2 has never been away from family her entire life to date (which I am very grateful for) and I am a bit nervous about how she will take in the real world. The Real World. This marks the start of her having an independent life, away from home, family, me. I woke her up this morning and the first thing she told me was that today felt like it was her birthday. Here is what she looks like on a normal day when you wake her up.
Really, I’m not kidding.
Here is what she looked like this morning:
She doesn’t even look this happy on her birthday!
After waking up the household, I started to get her ready and all these things just came into my mind. It’s hard to let your baby go and take those first steps. There are so many emotions that run through you – happiness, anticipation, nervousness. I got her ready to go, Sonic backpack on, lunch packed, and off we went.
I had to fight to get the ponytails.
In the car, she was happily going on about how she was going to school, and the sad feels started growing. She had no idea every inch closer that we got to the school the more nervous I was getting, and that was fine. We found a spot, got out of the car and started the walk to the front door. I wanted to take her to the side, you know, say something profound to her, but it was over before I knew it and she was whisked inside (I couldn’t go in! It was probably for the better) to start the first day of the rest of her life.
I wish I could say that I didn’t cry at all, but I did. I started thinking of those moments – when I found out I was pregnant, holding her for the first time, when she took her first steps, every birthday, the temper tantrum she threw at dinner last night because she couldn’t have candy. I miss her, but I think I miss just having her be mine more. Be kind to her, world; she’s still my baby even if she is a big girl now.